Eclectic Muddlehood

How's this for a perplexing beginning? I am a great many things, but none of them are me. At least not in my entirety. This is the little corner where I attempt to make the whole greater than the sum of its parts as I muddle through being a wife, a mother and a woman... among other things.

Location: Virginia, United States

Here, in no particular order, is a short list of my parts from the mundane to the pretentious, some or all of which may surface in future attempts to work on the whole: wife, mother, doula, childbirth educator, writer, yoga student, homeschooler, amature organic gardner, kitchen witch, all-around foodie, spiritual truth-seeker, daughter, clutter-bug, complusive list maker, bibliophile, homemaker, friend, homebirth/natural birth advocate, impulse shopper, wine snob, knitter, artist, lover, sensuist, and email junkie (There may be more later, but that's it for now.)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Poetry in My 39th Week

As I have begun to start truly processing the twins' pregnancy, labor and birth, I recently re-discovered three poems I wrote in the days leading up to their birth. Re-reading them, I experience a wide array of emotions, both joyful and sorrowful and I recognize within them wisdom and hope that was not obviously apparent to me at the time I wrote them. I feel no inspiration to compose any further poems at this time. I am too tired and overwhelmed with the changes that are occurring daily in my body, spirit and life. But I am hopeful that the desire to create again will return to me one day. Here they are- the poetry of my 39th week.

Monday, June 19th, 2006- 39 weeks 1 day

Sisterhood of Motherhood
Summer Solstice approaches and I
like a fat, juicy incarnation of the Goddess, herself
am heavy with precious fruits.
I wonder if She stumbles as I do
in the darkness and the heat, joyful at her bounty
yet weary of its weight.
Does she struggle?
With elated anticipation one moment
and desperate frustration
in the very next breath?
Does she long?
To release her harvest into the light
yet wish to be sure
it has fully ripened?
Does she too teeter?
On the precipice of the changing seasons
of her life, waiting to know in her heart
when the time is right to descend?
Does she too hope?
To emerge, having birthed
and herself reborn
in the triumphant glory of the Mother Goddess?
I feel her link elbows with me and bestow
the gift of a gentle understanding smile upon my spirit as
the two of us together will walk our path.
Arm in arm, I now know.
Tuesday, June 20th, 2006- 39 weeks 2 days
The Last Afternoon
She dons her paint smock sans underwear
as her ensemble of choice
for the fourth day in a row.
We play letters, shop for wooden eggplant
stomp and splash in the kiddy pool and
rock her teddy bears to sleep.
Just the two of us
for one more afternoon.
Before the births and babies and breastfeedings
that will divide me
between all the pieces of my heart.
Wednesday, June 21st, 2006- 39 weeks 3 days
Prodromal Storm
Sitting in the center of the storm
my body surges
Powerfully, but not enough
to herald birth.
Boisterous thunder bellows as
the pressure of little feet
intensifies against
my spreading pubic bones.
The air, heavy with the electricity of creation
crackles and flashes
Brilliant lightening from earth
to the heavens.
As quickly as it came, it goes
I sigh, knowing this is the prelude
That I cannot control this anymore
than the waves of weather that surround me.
Thursday, June 22nd, 2006- 39 weeks 4 days-
Labor woke me in my bed at about 4am.
Friday, June 23rd, 2006- 39 weeks 5 days-
My babies are born in the operating room at 3:03 and 3:06am.


Blogger Analisa said...

As a mom of a singleton then twins (then another singleton!), your middle one brought tears to my eyes. I do miss those days.

I got completely unexpected matchy match disease too!

Analisa (not sure where I know you from, probably MDC, where I am Megs Mom)

6:19 PM  

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